随笔（怀疑论与决定论的另类结合）

[匿名者]

有个电影（《四零五谋杀案》）说得好：一切都会过去，唯有真理永存。 （至于真理到底可知还是不可知？连这个问题也有可能是不可知的。至少我不知道。并且，很讨厌地，我认为别人也不知道，因为我偏向“不可确定全知论”。如何确定真地已经全知道了，如何确定真地没有未知了，如何确定真地没有不知道自己不知道了？ 逻辑上是不可能确定的。却很容易被自己的“极其超能力”（或被新奇的幻境梦境）给蒙骗了。 然而，无论可不可知，真理或真相就是真的理、真的相、就在那里，无可动摇，无论人们能不能到达。泰山就是泰山，不会因为没人认识就不成为泰山。）

（但是，）

其实（飞矢不动，瞬间即永恒）什么都没过去，只是不在眼前而已。

（未来，未知，假设一定会来的话，也只是不在眼前而已。）

（我们的每一个瞬间，镜像不二的当下，都是永恒的真相，无可更改或篡改。所以也不是“就在那里”，而是就在这里，就在眼前，就在当下。只是我主观地认为：彼此达到不了对方的客观真相而已。我的主观就是你的客观，你的主观就是我的客观。难免误会，理解不能，终究孤独。这曾被我称为”自我意识陷阱“）

生命（及意识）的本质或许是能量（及被能量点亮的光）。 能量必然点亮意识，如灯必有光，更好比镜必然显像， 而有的意识误以为自己是被心镜中的物像点亮的。（镜像对立或镜像不二这个比喻是有大问题的。对于人类来说，更多地是会误以为自己的知觉是建立在对身体的触觉之上。）

我们不知道自己就是黑暗，不知道自己就是“不知”，被知，被光明遮瞎了眼。（不知为不知，知之为知之，是知也。知建立在不知之上）

人，之所以为人，不同于野兽等其他动物，或许就在于人有明确的自我意识。明上加明，头上安头。 认为此明必为某明所明。此知觉必然是被某个能知能觉所知所觉的。"所知"明显，"暗能"不知道在哪里，往往误以为是所知所觉中最”亲近“的那个，即身体。

从此（自我意识的建立是有个过程的，没有人是突然知道有个我的，婴儿抢奶喝，并不自私，只是本能而已）（于是），能所对立，镜像对立，我与非我对立，是谓对象化思维。

自我意识不太可能有所谓的"绝对的有"或"绝对地无自我意识”，至少我个人的经验不是如此。我不记得我是在某一天突然就从没有自我意识变得知道有个我了。假设我记错了。那么我是在哪一天“无中生有”的呢？学会说”我”的那一天？觉得痛的那一天？还是开始焦虑的那一天？（当人学会了我这个概念，但在潜意识里发觉找不到自己时，就会开始不自觉地焦虑紧张乃至燥郁。） 我以前不知道为什么有人对痛感之类的触觉那么重视。 现在比较能理解了。我小时候开始焦虑时，也是在潜意识里通过抓挠反复确认自己的身体还在的。

对我来说，还有孤独感，也是伴随自我意识越来越强烈的。我（没做过调查）主观地认为，一个人个性越强，个体意识、自由意志、自我意识越明显，就越感到自己的孤立与独立。（反之亦然，有可能孤独与个性互相促进越演越烈。） 人多多少少都有点孤独。而喜欢热闹的，未尝不是因为害怕孤独。（会害怕，正说明其感受到了孤独）

这主要是因为我们看到的听到的乃至要表达的自己与别人看到的听到的我们是不一样的。（例如照片与镜像的不同，自己声音的录音听起来很陌生，等等）

而自己的真相究竟如何， （生命的本质到底是什么），是连我们自己都看不到找不到的。

需要说明的是：孤独感每个人多少都会有。而孤独这件事是没有的。至少也有清风明月相伴。（只是极少会有人在乎花花草草之类的......)

慧思（和他的行为艺术）所谓“独居孤峰顶，一口吞尽十方众生”，是句反话。他之所以有把握度尽众生，就是因为他已看破孤独感，

知道这是镜像对立（对象化思维）带来的错觉。

所谓“改”，顶多不过是在原来的真相上加了个假相而已。所谓假，是相对于真而言。戏假情真。至少怕死怕到要死，总是真的吧？除妄亦是妄，识妄即是真。认识到自己有可能不知道自己不知道，就不会过于自以为是了。）

其实也无所谓前后，只是我们只能见前不能见后而已。（更准确地说，是只习惯向前看，向内返照，只有黑暗，对我来说，太无聊了。 除非你对触感特别敏感。）请注意，向前看，看到的不是未来，都是过去，是已经注定了的。

(人人眼前一个2D的大屏幕，我们与它的距离为0 。3d的平直的空间是我们推想出来的。严格说来，是个幻觉。科学家已经推算出空间实际应该是弯曲的。）

我们的眼后不是明，也不是暗或黑暗或darkness，连所谓的能见之镜、（诸如此类）也没有，更不要说镜中明暗或五彩了。

这个”不知“可以算是一切的背景、舞台、可以推想为根本，可以当作自己的归宿，（如能不惧生死，就更好了。既然瞬间即永恒，又何必非要有个来去。只是所谓“无限心”“无限的想象乃至妄想”的确需要个安顿处（受王德峰教授的启发） 其实都是记忆相，时间相，相续相，带给我们的错觉，本就时时刻刻都在生死中，方生方死，方死方生（断章于《庄子》）。我们不知道自己忘记或记错了什么。不是么？

有一次，某位网友问我：为什么他觉得自己有很多前世，都是死于同一场南京大屠杀的。我打了个比方。庄子：方生方死，方死方生。好比叠在一起的麻将牌。区别只是叠得整齐不整齐。来世下面还有来世，还是要清空了重来，不值得追求。更何况死了应该就脱离时间线了。所谓前世的记忆不可能没有个开头，那就不是什么前世，就是这一世。

（面对那个“不知”，人们各有各的想象，各有各的愿望。过于执着的想象，过于坚定的愿望已经成为不容非议的信仰。其实即便假设只是猜想，也有猜对的可能，的确没有必要一定要去非议。除非他们要诅咒甚至消灭退出者。）

镜中像和电视里的一样，都好比是有个虚拟世界（有意或无意地）放映出来”迎合“我们的。（迎合恐惧也是一种迎合）

（从电视剧剧情里是推算不出电视机原理的。换了个新奇的电视剧剧情也一样。换了个梦不等于梦醒了。）

（不要太入戏，太认真。学会欣赏永恒的美，包括悲剧或闹剧之美，甚至恐怖片。不过，这话说起来容易过分轻松，生死间的确是有大恐怖的。所以做个心中无鬼，乃至无愧的好人还是有好处的。向自己坦白吧。自己原谅自己。自己宽恕自己。真心要改不用向别人表示。）

There is a film that says it all: everything passes, but the truth remains.

(As to whether the truth is knowable or unknowable? Even that question may be unknowable. At least I don't know. And, annoyingly, I don't think anyone else does either, because I am biased towards "indeterminate omniscience". How can I be sure that I really know everything, that there are no more unknowns, that there are no more unknowns that I don't know I don't know?

It is logically impossible to be sure. But it is easy to be fooled by one's "supernatural powers" (or by new and strange visions and dreams).

Yet, whether it is known or not, the truth is the real truth, the real phase, and it is there, unshakable, whether one can reach it or not. (Everest is Everest, and does not cease to be Everest just because no one knows it.)

(But...)

In fact (the flying arrow isn't really flying, any moment is eternal) nothing has passed, it is just not in sight.

(The future, unknown, is just not in sight if we assume it will definitely come.)

(Each of our moments, the present of the indivisible mirror/image... is an eternal truth that cannot be changed or tampered with. So it is not "right there", but right here, right now, right before you. It's just that I think subjectively: we can't reach each other's objective truth. My subjectivity is your objectivity, and your subjectivity is my objectivity. (Inevitably, we misunderstand each other, we cannot understand each other, and we are ultimately alone.)

The so-called "change" is at most a false image added to the original truth. The so-called fake is to say by comparing with the real. The play is fake and the love is real. At least if one is afraid of dying, it is always true, right? The removal of delusion is also delusion; the knowledge of delusion is the truth. (Realising that it is possible that you do not know that you do not know, you will not be too presumptuous.)

In fact, there is no such thing as before and after, only that we can only see before but not the opposite. (More accurately, it is a habit of looking forward only, and it is too boring to look back inwards, where there is only darkness.) Be aware to that "looking forward", what you see is not the future, it is all in the past, it is already predetermined.

(A big 2D screen in front of everyone's eyes, from which we are at a distance of 0. The flat space of 3d is what we conjecture. Strictly speaking, it is an illusion. Scientists have deduced that space should actually be curved.)

There is not light, nor darkness behind our eyes, not even a so-called mirror of visibility, (or something like that), let alone light or darkness or colour in the mirror

This "not knowing" can be considered the backdrop, the stage, the root of everything, the place where one belongs, (if only one could live and die without fear). If all moment is eternal, why should there be a coming and going? It is only the so-called "infinite mind", "infinite imagination and even infinite delusion" that needs a place to settle down (inspired by Professor Wang Defeng).

In fact, it is due to the illusion of memory, of time, of continuity, of being in the midst of birth and death all the time, of being born and dying, of being born and dying (broken chapter in Zhuangzi). We do not know what we have forgotten or misremembered. Don't we?

Once, someone asked me why he felt he had many past lives, all of which died in the same Nanjing Massacre. I drew an analogy. Zhuangzi: once born immediately dies, and once dies immediately born. It is like mahjong tiles stacked together. The difference is only whether they are stacked neatly or not. There is an afterlife beneath the afterlife, and it still has to be emptied and started over, not worth pursuing. What's more, if you die, you should be out of the timeline. The memories of the so-called past lives cannot be without a beginning, so it's not a past life, it's this one.

(People have their own imaginations and wishes when it comes to that "I don't know". The overly persistent imagination and the overly determined wish have become unquestionable beliefs. In fact, even if the hypothesis is only a guess, there is a possibility that it is correct, and there is indeed no need to criticise it. (Unless they want to curse or even destroy the quitters.)

The image in the mirror, like the one on television, is like a virtual world projected (intentionally or unintentionally) to "cater" to us. (Pandering to fear is also a form of pandering)

(The principle of television cannot be deduced from the plot of a television series. It is the same with a new and novel drama. Changing a dream is not the same as waking up from a dream.)

(Don't get too caught up in the drama and take it too seriously. Learn to appreciate timeless beauty, including the beauty of tragedy or farce, even horror films. However, it is easy to say this too easily, and there are indeed great horrors between life and death. So it still pays to be a good person with no ghosts in your heart, or even no shame. Confess it to yourself. Forgive yourself.. (There is no need to show others that you really want to change.)

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)